INCOMING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD APPROACHING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive tidal wave of spam is about to explode down on your mail. We're talking horrendous amounts of phony emails packed with vile porn. These losers are trying to trick you out of your hard-earned cash, so be super cautious. Don't click on any links in these emails, and flag them immediately. Be smart! Dang